You're Not Alone
by kiminicricket
Summary: Post TLJ - Probably will only be a few chapters so a nice quick read for a good reylo fix
1. Chapter 1

The day had not yet dawned when she bolted upright in her bunk, sweat beading on her brow, and a pain engulfing her entire body so intense that for a moment she could not breathe.

 _REY_

With a flash it was gone, and she was left with only the memory of the pain. Shaking herself into the present, Rey got up from the bunk and moved through the dark, sandstone tunnels until she was outside to watch the sunrise. she looked around at the pre-dawn lit planet. With only the muted light the world looked grey, and dull, but as the first rays of light reached over the horizon the brilliant colours of the planet began to appear. Rey smiled at the beauty, glad she was up to see this, fighting against intrusive thoughts of Ben and where he might be, what he might be seeing. _He made his choice_ , she reminded herself, trying to push the thoughts, somewhat unsuccessfully, out of her mind.

It had been a month since Crait. A month since she had shut the door on Ben. He hadn't tried to contact her since, nor she him. Setting up the base took time, gathering intel, securing the base from scouting droids and hiding their small numbers from scanners, it was long hours with so few of them remaining. She hadn't given herself a minute to be alone or to reflect, she hadn't really wanted to. But with the memory of the pain lingering within her, she wondered if maybe she should take a minute or two, here in this pre-dawn moment to do just that. Watching the sun make its way over the pink mountains Rey hugged her arms tighter around herself. She took a breath, closed her eyes, and gave in to the memories that had been tugging at her mind for weeks now.

Tentatively she reached for that connection. It had laid dormant for some time now, she wasn't even sure if it was still there. She reached out to feel it, to maybe even step through it if she could manage, but all that met her reaching was cold emptiness. She sighed, unsure whether to be disappointed or relieved. What was she expecting to find once she opened that door again? She returned her gaze to the ever-brightening horizon.

"What are you doing up so early?" Rey glanced back as General Organa joined her, turning her face to the morning sun.

"I couldn't sleep," she told the general. Leia looked at her, concern shrouding her features.

"What is it?"

Rey bit her lip, not sure where to start. It was everything and it was nothing. It was a whole lot of little things, and one rather big one. There was a restlessness inside her, something telling her to get out there, to find him again, but she knew that the resistance needed her, and she couldn't quite convince herself that going after him wouldn't turn out to be a fool's mission anyway. Despite knowing this, the part of her that had come to care for Ben would not let her live peacefully. None of that was anything that the General could help with, however, and so Rey put on a bright smile.

"It's nothi-" the pain was greater this time and she cried out as it struck, bending double in its grip.

 _REY_

That voice…

 _PLEASE_

She collapsed onto the ground just as the pain released her and the voice vanished again, the words still echoing through her, and his face the last time she had heard him say them. _Please_. An outstretched hand. An offer she had to leave. A boy she didn't want to. She lifted teary eyes to Leia, who stared at her in shock.

"Ben," she whispered, frozen in place. Snapping out of it, Leia rushed to help Rey up. "Are you all right?"

Rey nodded, but exchanged a worried glance with the general. "Do you think…" she trailed off, not sure she should burden Leia with her concerns. Then again, Ben was Leia's son, she was bound to be concerned. "Do you think he's in trouble?"

Leia took a shaky breath and looked away. "I don't know," she whispered. She closed her eyes and Rey stayed respectfully quiet, sensing that the general was reaching out for her son. She wondered how often Leia did that. Probably more often than anyone realised. Rey perked up when Leia turned back to her.

"Will you do something for me?"

Rey nodded. "Of course, anything."

"Will you find my son?" Leia whispered the words, and Rey could see the cost that they had on the general. To admit that she couldn't be the one to bring her son back, to ask someone else to do that for her child. As for Rey, that restless part inside of her finally stilled, finally at peace knowing that she was about to get out there and find him. She was about to know one way or another what had happened to him in the month since she had seen him last. She nodded, placing a reassuring hand on the generals shoulder.

* * *

"Where are you off to so fast?"

Rey whirled towards the voice. "Finn! Glad you're back, how did the mission go?"

Finn nodded assuredly, "We've organised some trade with the locals. We're so far out that they've never even heard of the first order, but they are thankful for… wait, is that a bag? Are you headed out?"

Rey nodded, not really wanting to go into the details of where she was headed and why. She shrugged nonchalantly. "The general has asked me to go on a special mission."

"Alone?" the concern in Finns eyes was touching, and a little patronising. She raised her eyebrows "Not alone, BB8 is coming with me."

Finn grinned. "Poe's not going to like that!"

BB8 rolled up behind her just then, beeping, and Rey turned to smile at the little droid.

"I couldn't have put it better myself. Are you ready?"

BB8 beeped happily and headed towards the aircraft. Rey turned back to Finn. They held each other's gaze for a moment.

"Be careful, whatever it is that you are doing."

Rey gave a smile. "You too. say good bye to Rose and Poe for me?"

Finn nodded. Rey reached forward and gave him a quick hug.

"I don't know how long this will take, but I will be back, don't worry about that!"

Finn squeezed her tight. "You just make sure that you are." Releasing her, he stepped back and headed back in towards the bunk rooms, and Rey turned to the small ship she would be using. BB8 was already in place, so Rey quickly stowed her bag and jumped into the cockpit. Starting the engines, she allowed herself one last look at the small base that had come to be home. She turned the nose of the plane and took off into space. Once they had breached the atmosphere she put the ship into auto-pilot mode. BB8 beeped questioningly.

"Just for a moment. I need to try something." She closed her eyes and tried to reach for that bond again. She couldn't see Ben, but a sense of direction came to her and she opened her eyes, punching in the co-ordinates. BB8 beeped again.

"I don't know, but we've got to start somewhere right?"

BB8 answered and Rey smiled grimly. "I hope you're right," she said as she launched the ship into hyperspace

* * *

 **KC**

 **oh hey there. If you liked this, please let me know and I might continue :)**


	2. Chapter 2

"Stupid!" Rey admonished herself, wiping the incessant rain from her face as her ship sank further into the water. What had she even been thinking, coming out here? She had trying to be more trusting of her force senses, but another flash of pain had engulfed her and she'd crash landed here. Wherever here was. She stared blankly at the tailfin, still sticking out of the swamp. She was too exhausted right now to try and lift it out, so she turned to survey her surroundings. According to BB8 she had landed somewhere in the Degobah system, and with their very short days it was getting darker by the minute. Not wanting to see what kind of creatures came out after dark in a swamp like this, she shouldered her pack and grabbed her staff, making her way through the thick foliage to find shelter.

Just before dark she came upon a tiny cave. Crouching down, she crawled through the door. it wasn't much bigger inside than it had been outside, but it was cozy, and she wasn't getting rained on. There was even a fireplace – not that there would be any wood within a reasonable radius that would be dry enough to light. Still, it would do. She settled her stuff down and lay back against her pack, BB8 shaking off the rain in the corner. Rey thought of all she had to do to get off this planet and back on mission. She had to pull the ship out, inspect it and make sure it still ran, maybe find a village or town close by and stock up on some supplies. She had just refuelled so she should be ok there, unless the crash had damaged the tank. She sighed, turning onto her side, trying to quiet her busy mind. Closing her eyes she focused on her breathing until she fell asleep.

* * *

 _She was standing in the throne room again, looking around at the destruction they had left in their wake. Bursts of flaming debris dropped from the ceiling and there were bodies everywhere. A burst of euphoria coursed through her and she looked over to... herself. The other Rey was going on about saving the resistance, about stopping the guns, but what did that matter anymore? Let the two sides destroy each other. They had just defeated the supreme leaders personal guards! They could do anything together! The other Rey turned to look at her, imploringly. She noticed something and turned to fully face her. Rey held out her hand – her black, gloved hand, she noted with some surprise._

 _"I want you to join me," her voice, she noted, was much deeper than she had expected it to be. The other Rey's face turned vicious._

 _"I will never join you! Murderous Snake!" She spat with such venom._

 _Despair engulfed her and she fought to get back to that euphoria, that sense of belonging she had felt when they had won together, but the other Rey flung her hand forward, reaching for the lightsaber. Rey knew she could not let her have it, so she reached for it too, and it froze between their outstretched hands. Rey looked at the other Rey, whose face was contorted with rage._

 _This was all wrong. This wasn't how it happened. Rey was supposed to-_

 _The lightsaber exploded._

* * *

Rey sat bold upright, breathing hard as though she had literally just come from that battle. She rubbed her face with her hands, trying to wipe the vicious look of her own face from her mind. What had that even been? Shaking it from her mind, she glanced outside. Still dark, but the beginnings of light were beginning to peek over the horizon, and for the moment, it wasn't raining. Knowing she wasn't going to be getting any more sleep after that, Rey readied her things and woke BB8 who beeped not too happily about being woken so early.

"You are a droid, you don't need a full night's sleep."

BB8 beeped back a snarky retort and Rey hid her smile.

"Come on, we need to get going. That ship is not going to lift itself out of the swamp."

* * *

"Who in their right mind would willingly come to this place?" Rey wondered. BB8 voiced an agreement so fervent that Rey smiled down at the little droid.

She had spent half the morning lifting her ship out of the swamp, and the other half hacking through the thick foliage and swatting at pesky insects that wanted to suck her dry, trying to find a civilisation of any kind, or even a wreckage from which she could scavenge parts. Her ship was now on a dry bank, drip drying as much as it could between showers, but there were several parts that she needed desperately. Thankfully the fuel tank hadn't been ruptured and she still had enough to keep going for a while. She swung her staff, hacking away a path through the foliage when she felt a light nudging in the force. She paused, glancing to the east. The nudge was a little stronger this time so Rey shrugged and turned to head that way. It's not like she had any clue where she was going anyway. BB8 rolled along behind making disagreeable beeps every now and then.

Rey was just about ready to head back to the small cave she had found last night when she spotted smoke drifting lazily above the tree line.

"Do you see that BB8? Someone is here!" She headed off with a renewed vigour, sure that she could now get the help they needed and get off this stars-forsaken planet and back to finding Ben.

It wasn't long before they came upon a small village. Small in the fact that there were only about six dwellings within it. The creatures that were walking around were enormous! Twice as large as Chewey and sporting two heads each. Rey approached one sitting at what appeared to be a market stall.

"Excuse me!" She called up, the bench of the stall being taller than her head.

"What's that?" A booming voice. Rey waited until his heads popped over the top, looking right and left before down at her. The two faces registered surprise and curiosity.

"Why hello! What do we have here?" The head on the left spoke. A hand reaching out almost as if to pick her up. Rey managed to dodge the lift, about to demand what he thought he was doing when the other one spoke.

"Don't you see? She's come for the other one," the head on the right said, as if it should be obvious. The creature stood up and Rey took a step back, raising her eyebrows down at BB8, before turning back up to ask if there was a place to buy the parts that she needed, but the two heads were already arguing.

"How on earth could you possibly know that?" The left asked.

"Well isn't it obvious? We never get that kind around here and now two in one week? Can't be a co-incidence" right seemed to have a bit of a superiority complex. Rey opened her mouth to interject but was again cut off.

"It's a big universe Zicto, they might not know each other at all."

"If I could just-" Rey tried again

"All humans know each other; don't you know that"

It looked like it was about to get violent, though how one could fight with oneself Rey was unsure. Not really wanting to see exactly how, she climbed up onto the bench and yelled. "HEY!"

Both heads turned to face her once again, a startled, but apologetic look on the left, and one of utter indignation on the right.

"My apologies miss, how can we be of assistance?" They leaned down on the bench so they were more or less face to face with her.

"I crash landed here yesterday, I need to buy parts so I can repair my ship." Rey explained.

"Crash landed she did," Left said to Zicto, who rolled his eyes. Left turned back to Rey, pointing to the east.

"There's a repair shop across the marsh, where most of the businesses are. You should find everything you need there."

"Thank you..."

"Aartveep." He supplied. Rey nodded and smiled.

"Thank you Artveep, Zicto." She nodded at them both and the latter looked a little mollified at her thanks. She climbed down and began to head in the direction they had pointed out when Zicto called out after her.

"Just in case you do know him, there was another human that we rescued from a wreck last week in the infirmary." He supplied.

Rey turned and nodded while still walking, "I'll check it out. Thank you again." She called.

The parts store was well stocked, and Rey found everything she needed in little time at all.

"Come on BB8, let's go!" Rey gathered her purchases and made her way back in the direction she had come. BB8 beeped something and Rey pulled up, somewhat sheepishly.

"You know, I'd actually forgotten. Well, let's check it out quickly so we can be on our way."

Rey changed direction, heading towards the infirmary. She stowed her belongings at the door and went to introduce herself to the healer.

"You must be here for the human," she said before Rey could say anything. Willing to just go with it this time, Rey just nodded and the healer led her into a cold, white room. Rey walked into the cavern-like room towards the oversized bed.

"Oh, sorry, you'll need this." The healer brought over a step ladder, and Rey climbed up. She surveyed the person lying there, and nearly fell off the ladder.

"Ben," she whispered.

* * *

 **KC**

 **You ever sat down to write and had the characters run amok on you... Yeah I had way too much fun writing the aliens in this chapter.. I hope you enjoyed it but bear with me if not, getting to some Reylo sooooooon :D**

 **As always, will love you if you let me know what you thought!**


	3. Chapter 3

He was laying on what looked like an oversized pillow at the top of the bed, his feet just dangling over the edge.

Rey scrambled across the enormous mattress, stumbling once or twice on the spongy material until she was kneeling right beside him. She ran her eyes over him, drinking in his image. It was really him, and yet he looked so different, so pale, laying there unconscious, his hair fanning out on the white pillow beneath him. He was bandaged from the waist up, and there were black veins spider-webbing out from the edges of the bandage. Infection. Set in pretty bad too. Rey grabbed the hand that was closest to her.

" Ben?" There was no response. She squeezed his hand gently, but still nothing. She turned to the healer.

"What happened?"

"Artveep and Zicto brought him in last week from a wreckage in the swamp. We've done what we can for him, but our medicines don't seem to be having much effect." The healer shook her heads apologetically. "We don't get too many humans out this way."

Rey spun back to Ben and did the calculations. Last week, that was the first time she had felt the flash of pain, the morning that Leia had sent her on this mission. BB8 beeped from the floor and Rey started, having almost forgotten he was there.

"Of course!" She turned back to the healer. "I have a med-kit in my pack, I left it by the door. Could you get it for me?" Getting it herself would be no easy task – particularly not hauling it up the step ladder and across the mattress.

The healer nodded and turned to retrieve the requested pack. It was dropped gently onto the bed beside her only moments later. She turned to thank the healer.

"Thank you..."

"Arlene."

"Leena."

The two heads spoke at once, as they had been doing the entire time, but it was the first time that they had had something different to say. Unlike Aartveep and Zicto, the healers two sides were very much in sync, and to hear the two different names threw Rey momentarily. She nodded her thanks once again before turning back to rustle through her pack for the med kit. Her hands grasped the small pack and she eagerly tore into it, withdrawing the small capsule that she quickly and carefully placed on his temple. While the body suit began to unravel and wrap itself around Ben, inflating and filling with the basic healing liquid, Rey checked the meds that she had available, quickly selecting a powerful antibiotic and painkiller, which she injected into the capsule. The medicine swirled in with the healing liquid and the bodysuit began to hum as the healer watched on.

"Where did you get this tech?" She asked, intrigued, "Can it be modified to fit a larger race?"

Rey nodded. "The suit will fit itself to whoever wears it, though I've not come across a race as large as you before, so I'm not sure. I have a spare here though, that you can keep and develop if you like?"

Arleena, as Rey had come to think of her, eagerly grabbed the small disk, turning it over inquisitively as she left the room. Rey turned back to Ben, watching with relief as the angry black veins quickly started to fade, and his face regained some colour. He would be ok. With the fear for his life taken care of, other questions began to buzz around in her head. How had he gotten here? Who had done this to him? Was he still with the first order? She hadn't felt the presence of any storm troopers or officers of the first order, but she hadn't been paying particular attention for that. Gingerly, she reached out and brushed his hair off of his face.

"You're going to be ok, Ben." She said.

* * *

Rey woke with a start as the door banged open.

"Oh, sorry dear! I was just bringing in some breakfast." Arleena put the enormous platter on the bed as Rey say up, rubbing her eyes. She didn't even remember falling asleep. The healer bent over, inspecting the patient.

"Oh, he looks much better!" She remarked, and Rey turned to face him. He did indeed look almost normal again, and the suit had deflated and retracted back into the disk. She would need to get that re-filled on the next planet that catered to humans. For now, she tucked it back into her pack and smiled up at Arleena.

"You helped him, a complete stranger," she said, wondering if they knew who he was, if they knew of the first order in this corner of the galaxy.

"Well of course we did love, he needed help, didn't he? Not that it would have mattered without your medicine. It was lucky you got here when you did."

Rey agreed absently, knowing it was more than luck. The force had told her that he needed her, had guided her to him. Arleena checked on a few things and then moved back out of the room. Rey unconsciously reached for some of the food that had been brought in, chewing thoughtfully.

He looked so peaceful, lying there. His eyes closed to the horrors that he had endured – that he had been part of. Looking at him now, no-one would ever guess that he was a high ranking official in the first order, that he had overseen such destruction, or the turmoil he felt inside because of it. No-one would ever guess the fear that he kept so desperately covered up, the guilt that he refused to acknowledge, or the longing that Rey had seen, had felt, had reciprocated.

She had been so sure that Ben was the answer to all their issues, so certain that once they had defeated the supreme leader and his minions together, he would join her to save the universe, and live happily ever after, finally belonging somewhere, finally belonging with someone, but that hadn't happened. He had been too far gone, too far into the dark side to make his way out of it at that moment. But who knows what he had been through since then? Maybe he was finally ready to take his rightful-

No. She stopped herself mid-thought. She couldn't count on that. Most of the rebellion were dead now anyway, the last remnants hiding where they could, biding their time until they could regroup. And with the losses that they had suffered, who even knew when that would be? Even Ben switching sides at this point would not make enough of a difference to win the war right now.

His eyes flickered open, and she noted the surprise to see her there. She dropped the food back onto the tray and rose to her knees.

"Ben?"

The surprise turned to confusion as he glanced around the room before returning his gaze to Rey.

"Rey?" Rey nodded, reaching for his hand as he sat up slowly. He looked blankly down as she grasped his hand, and then back up at her, the bewilderment on his expression almost endearing.

"You... you left," he said, narrowing his eyes. Rey bit her lip and nodded.

"I know."

"Why are you here?" He looked guarded, as if he didn't trust that her presence was real. "You left." He repeated, clutching her hand slightly tighter.

"Ben, I came to find you-"

"Why?" His eyes searched hers, desperate. She knew that look. She had _lived_ that look. He tried to disguise the hope there, but she could see it as clear as she knew the same hope lived inside of her.

Rey reached up to the scar on his face. The one she had given him. Tentatively, she ran her fingers along it, down over his eye, down his cheek to his jaw. She paused and glanced up at him. He hadn't moved, but his eyes had closed. His breathing was steady, if a bit shallow. Her attention returned to her finger as she followed the scar from his jaw down to his chest. She felt his breathing hitch as she followed it all the way to the end. His hand came up to hold hers against him just as she was about to drop it back to her side. She couldn't breathe, her heart was pounding, she just had to get the words out.

"I didn't want to leave." It was barely a whisper. A confession, one she hadn't told anyone – hadn't even admitted to herself.

His eyes flew open, devouring her, seeming to look into her very soul, as only he had ever been able to.

"I didn't want you to be alone anymore."

His hand came up to cup her face, thumb gently stroking her cheekbone as her eyes finally met his and she shrugged.

"I didn't want to be alone anymore."

Slowly, so slowly, as though giving her time to reconsider, time to change her mind and withdraw, he bent his head towards her. Unable to bear the wait Rey leaned forward, her arms wrapping around his neck as their lips met, and for the first time in a long time, she felt at home.

* * *

 **KC**


End file.
